The Hunt - A vampire hunting blog: How to stake a vampire

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

How to stake a vampire

Author: Tao G. | Filed Under: Hunting 101, Tools of the Trade

How do you stake a vampire?

I get this question a lot.

An arc stake, a throwing stake, and a cap stake.

The truth is, staking a vampire is hard. In fact, in most cases taking the thing's head off is a much better option. However, stakes are concealable (most of the time legally) and lighter than a blade. Also, if you know what you're doing and get a good stab in, you can, theoretically, drop a fucker in one hit. That being said, I have not been able to perform that feat yet. I've tried, but I missed.

First thing you should know is there are different kinds of stakes. I, personally, have three kinds in my box.

Cap Stakes

The first kind of stake is called a "cap stake" They're your basic, traditional stake and they're called cap stakes because if you don't stick a metal cap on them, they will break when you try to hammer them in which is a major inconvenience. These are the kind of stakes hunters have used for centuries. Traditional hunters often were presented with a mallet and stake upon initiation to their local lodge. (This tradition has carried over into modern times in some lodges. My lodge does not do this.)

The problem with a cap stake is twofold. first, they are not an effective weapon and you need to get really lucky if you have a chance in hell of using it effectively. second, the human heart is protected by a wonderful thing called the rib cage. The ribs and sternum are very good at preventing pointy objects from piercing the heart and for this reason, you need a mallet or hammer to drive the fucker in deep enough to paralyze the vampire. (I use the back of my hatchet, personally, because that means I have one less tool to carry.)

Arc Stakes

Arc stakes, or curve stakes, are much more reasonable when it comes to use as a weapon. remember that rib cage I was taking about? Yeah, arc stakes take care of that. The stakes taper slightly, and curve. They're also sort of flat, which does a couple of things: first, it lets you slip them in between ribs easier, and second, it makes them easier to carry. Basically all you have to do with these is jam them in between two of the ribs, usually about five or so inches from the sternum, and push. Push hard. with luck, you can slam the tip into the heart and the vampire will drop. Unfortunately it is not as easy as it sounds, and you may just as easily end up breaking the stake, or just missing completely.

Throwing stakes

I have one of these but I have never seen it work effectively. In fact, I think that anyone who carries a double-sided stake with the expectation it will actually work is entirely too optimistic, or simply expects a vampire's bones to be made of gelatin. I threw mine once, and I felt really dumb when it hit him, square between two ribs, and then hit the ground because there simply was not enough force behind it. So I stopped carrying it, but I keep it in my box because, hey. It's an extra stake.

Other stakes

Look around your room. You've probably got more than a few 'other' stakes around you right now. Chair and table legs, wooden pallets, grandfather clocks, whatever. They make stakes in a pinch, but I'm gonna be honest with you. If you're breaking chair legs as your only weapon, you're probably fucked. End of story.

-Tao

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

How to stake a vampire

Cap Stakes

Arc Stakes

Throwing stakes

Other stakes

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